Prior to your marriage, you’ve had a good time with your spouse and found it most memorable to remember all the time. But now that you are married and maybe have kids already have changed everything.
It seems as though your union has personally become an issue of concern that if it’s not fixed on time, things may get out time.
I have been married for seven years. My husband and I love each other and are blessed with two lovely children. Before we got married, we courted for two years plus and our love for each other has been wonderful. We planned having just two kids (a boy and a girl). We planned how we should invest in our businesses and career with tangible proofs. We planned how we should raise our children and how we should be able to meet their needs all the time.
There were so many plans we talked about during the time of our courtship. We also talked about going on a vacation and having some nice time. You know, when you have got a life partner, it’s good to talk out those plans you would love to achieve in years to come. It shows how you both value each other and want to take your relationship to the next level.
So, when the time finally came, I married my heartthrob and was looking forward to achieving those plans we talked about. I didn’t just marry my husband because of those plans. I married him first because I loved him and my vision aligned with his. Also, we have the same mind and thoughts and I believed God was involved in the relationship.God's design for marriage is not just for procreation and taking care of children. God's design for marriage is for intimacy to keep getting sweeter and stronger each day. Click To Tweet
A year into our marriage after our first child was born, I began to feel too sensitive to every slightest things. The once ever calming and quiet lady became suddenly angry and nuisance. My husband always made sure he provided both security and every other need my son and I needed. He is this kind of a person who always put us on his top priority. But seeing that we were now family, things would no longer be the same compared to the period of our courtship.
The second child came a few years after the first child and somehow my relationship with my husband began to feel boring. I hardly had time for him. All my attention was on my kids. All that mattered to me was my kids and nothing more. Little did I know I was neglecting my intimacy with my husband. I began to pay less attention to him and the result I got in return was quite unpleasant. I realised I was being unfair and was taking the matter too far.
That’s not all. My husband has had his own share of blame too. But the truth is two wrongs cannot make right. We realised that if we don’t settle the issue disrupting our intimacy on time, it would get out of hand.
God’s design for marriage is not just for procreation and taking care of children. God’s design for marriage is for intimacy to keep getting sweeter and stronger each day. Many homes are shaking simply because there are little things that have been neglected which is the reason intimacy is no longer there like before.
Are you in this situation like mine? Can we take a breath and have a re-think of what and where we have gone wrong and fix it right on time? What is responsible for the lack of intimacy? Could it be because you attend to your children more than you do to your husband? Could it be the nature of your job or career? Whatever it is, try tracing the root cause of what is killing your intimacy with your husband and attend to that issue. A friend once said “the issue you don’t give attention to today will grow more than you can handle” so true!
However, for you to succeed in your marital relationship, you have to attend to those little issues, ignorance you overlooked. Think about how much better it will be when you look at your shortcomings and make amendment. The relationship will become better and stronger than you ever think. When you resist from giving unnecessary excuses that your job, children, or whatever are the reason your intimacy is out of place, you give room for crisis.
Sometimes, you may not really be able to figure out what could be the cause of a problem in your marriage but I encourage you to take it to God in prayer and watch Him show you a way out of sparking your marital intimacy.